


Correct On The Third Point

by ineffablefool



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: #ineffablyfueledbyspite, (he is a very fat and lovely and wonderful and important angel, Asexual Relationship, Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), No Sex, No Smut, Oh Crowley, Other, Post-Canon, delicious fluffy spite, fluff and spite, some ableist language because Crowley, though admittedly a bit of a bastard), when something hits me the wrong way i write obnoxious softness so! here is the obnoxious softness!, which i should put on my old spite fics if it's not there already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28713042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablefool/pseuds/ineffablefool
Summary: “That last customer was simply theworst.”  Aziraphale rolled his eyes, pudgy hands coming up to straighten his bow tie the way that meant he was settling in for a nice long complain.  “They tried to buy something, wouldn’t listen to reason, then dared try to insult my shop, my intelligence, my appearance, and my sense of fashion!”“If it was the tartan, I’ve got to admit they might have a point there.”(A customer tries to insult Aziraphale, but does a terrible job of it.  Cuddles ensue (not with the customer).)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 198
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens





	Correct On The Third Point

**Author's Note:**

> **Me:** "Hooray! A fic about a character reassuring another, non-thin, character that they are valued just as they are! I will read it!"  
>  **Fic dialogue:** "You're not fat[...]"  
>  **Me:** : ಠ_ಠ  
>  **Me:** [closes tab and starts another spite fic]
> 
> Anyway here is a soft, plotless, asexual, no-mouth-kisses (heart for my aro fam 💚) bit of Ineffable Husbands fluff where Aziraphale is definitely fat because fat people are wonderful. Objective fact! Nothing anyone can do about it.
> 
> **The word "fat" is used a bunch** but only in a neutral-to-positive context. Because wonderful!
> 
> I'm writing for the TV characterization, but I've decided that my written Aziraphale is visibly fat. Tumblr and AO3 user Squeegeelicious has created [this absolutely gorgeous artwork](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/post/189282541139/squeegeelicious-a-walk-to-the-ritz-for) for my first human AU [If Not Now, When](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20936816), which should help you know what to visualize as you read!

It was a pretty good nap. The bookshop sofa was as comfy as ever, and Aziraphale had the temperature just right back in that corner. Crowley yawned through a vigorous stretch, then got up to wander towards the sound of conversation.

The voice he’d recognize across a hundred thousand crowded rooms said something, and then another unfamiliar one snapped right back. Nothing he could make out past the muffling walls of ancient pages, but he started moving faster all the same.

There were a couple more exchanges, ending in an icy “Good _day_ ”. Crowley rounded the last bookcase just in time to see the door slam shut behind a retreating back.

“Darling,” Aziraphale said, ice melted to nothing. “I’m so sorry, did that wake you?”

Crowley flopped his shoulders in what would’ve been a shrug if he’d been willing to put that much effort into it. “Nah, woke up on my own. Thought you might need a hand, but it looks like you’ve got it sorted. ‘Nother bad customer?”

“Ugh, simply the _worst_.” Aziraphale rolled his eyes, pudgy hands coming up to straighten his bow tie the way that meant he was settling in for a nice long complain. “They tried to buy something, wouldn’t listen to reason, honestly seemed to believe that I’d change my mind if only they offered enough _money_...”

Crowley leaned back against a bookshelf, arms crossed, and let himself grin fondly.

“...and when I’d finally gotten through to them, they dared try to insult my shop, my intelligence, my appearance, and my sense of fashion!”

“If it was the tartan, I’ve got to admit they might have a point there.”

Aziraphale huffed, although the corners of his eyes crinkled as he deliberately aimed his gaze elsewhere.

“Shows what an idiot they were, though, all the rest of it. Trying to insult the shop when it’s obviously good enough for them to try to buy from.”

“Indeed,” Aziraphale said to the ceiling.

Crowley felt his own eyes crinkling, now. Fond grin going wider, a little wobbly. “Plus, you’re cleverer’n anyone. Prettier. So that means they were wrong on three out of four.”

For a second it looked like that was going to get another teasing response, maybe a defense of tartan. Then Aziraphale’s brow furrowed. “Actually, they were correct on the third point. It was an abysmal failure trying to _insult_ me with the observation, of course, but it wasn’t technically wrong.”

Third point — right, his appearance. Crowley chewed that over for a second. ‘Oh yeah? Well, you’re gorgeous!’ didn’t seem like much of an insult, but sometimes humans weren’t all that bright...

Aziraphale looked like someone had just asked for a bulk discount. “They called me _fat_.”

Crowley blinked. Blinked again, definitely using up his quota for the next few months, but whatever. He looked at the angel, _the_ angel, the being he’d loved for millennia and planned on loving for megayears to come. Pretty and gorgeous as anything in the history of ever.

“‘ _Course_ you’re fat,” he said.

“Exactly! It isn’t as though they were telling me anything I didn’t already know!” Aziraphale looked over his own dimpled hands, his round arms, not seeming to notice Crowley push off from the bookcase. “It was like it was supposed to be some sort of — of revelation, some nasty little secret they could use to get back at me for daring to turn them down —”

Crowley snuggled up behind him, chin on his shoulder, arms wrapping around his wide middle to rest gentle hands on his belly.

“— oh. Hello, dear.” Aziraphale smiled briefly before the rant started up again. “Well, obviously I didn’t break down at the supposed slight and sell them the book, or... whatever they expected their sad little jab to accomplish.”

“Obviously,” Crowley mumbled against his cheek.

“I almost felt sorry for them. All the potential of human imagination, and that was what they came up with.”

Crowley nuzzled the rounded hill of his cheek again, and Aziraphale sighed. “You’re being terribly distracting.”

“Mmmyep.”

“Here I am, absolutely beset by ill-mannered louts...”

Crowley glanced around the empty shop.

“...and instead of even trying to be of assistance...”

“Ha! Me, assist you?”

Aziraphale shifted, turned in his arms until they were not quite facing each other. Crowley’s hands found new places to settle. Lots of those, little perches for demonic fingers on Aziraphale’s precious love handles, and the curving planes of his back, and the soft belly that was Crowley’s favorite place to lay his head, even comfier than the sofa. Warmer, too.

“Foul fiend,” Aziraphale murmured, before smiting him with a gentle kiss next to his mouth.

“Clever fat angel,” Crowley said back, pulling Aziraphale even closer, smiling when he found himself held just as tight. “Whose shop is practically legendary amongst book nerds — I’ve seen the Reddit threads, you could start a _cult_ if you wanted, have a whole army to bring you tea.”

Aziraphale hummed into his shoulder. “They could never make it with as much love as you do.”

“Oh, sure. Tell the whole world.”

This hum sounded almost smug. One hand began smoothing through Crowley’s hair the way Aziraphale knew he liked. “I believe that’s three out of four you’ve addressed...?”

Definitely smug. “Nope,” Crowley said, grinning. “Pretty sure that was all the points that needed covering.”

A little huff answered him, although Aziraphale’s hand didn’t pause in his hair.

“Not gonna see me giving in on this one.” Crowley pulled back a little, hands leaving Aziraphale’s adorable round body to tug at the bow tie beneath his adorable round face. “You will never, ever have me agreeing...” The knot of the tie slipped away, letting him slide it from Aziraphale’s collar. “That _tartan_ , of all things...” He looped it twice around his own wrist, tying the ends up as neatly as he could with about one and a half hands. “Is stylish,” he finished. “Ever.”

Aziraphale looked down at it, his own signature on Crowley’s arm, marking Crowley as something that belonged. Then he moved his own hands to undo Crowley’s clumsy knot.

“Are you quite sure of that, my treasure?” Wide nimble fingers retied a perfectly symmetrical bow. “It does look _very_ fetching on you.”

Crowley smiled woozily as Aziraphale brushed a kiss to the inside of his wrist. He didn’t say the three words sparkling beneath his ribs, but Aziraphale’s own smile told him that they’d been heard anyway.

“Now,” Aziraphale went on, linking their hands together. “Would you care to do anything, now you’re awake? We could visit the park, or perhaps you’d like to look in on your plants...”

Crowley thought about it, but not for long. The nap had been pretty good, sure. Didn’t mean he couldn’t go for a better one.

When he started leading Aziraphale towards the back of the shop, his brilliant angel didn’t need to ask why. He just scooped a book off a shelf as they passed. Squeezed Crowley’s hand once when they reached the sofa, then let go.

Once Aziraphale was comfortably arranged on the sofa, Crowley could finally rest his head on his favorite pillow in the world.

“Your _elbows_ , I _swear_ ,” his pillow said as he wriggled into place. He raised his head to kiss it, lips firm against waistcoated softness for an ageless second, before settling down with a sigh.

There was the rustling sound of a book opening.

“Good night,” said the voice that would always mean Crowley was home.

“Night, angel,” Crowley mumbled against Aziraphale’s belly. He kissed it one more time, because he could. “Fat n’ beautiful angel.”

“Go to _sleep_ , Crowley,” Aziraphale laughed, and Crowley did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you were thinking of leaving a comment, please know that I am frequently behind on answering, but that I always treasure every single one. I've literally cried a few times reading some of the lovely things people have said, and they really are fuel for my soft little heart -- but never, ever required, so please don't feel pressured. 
> 
> If you want to say hi on Tumblr, I'm [ineffablefool](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com) there, too.
> 
> I would never actively request art from anyone I wasn't paying, but if you, the human reading this, were to decide it was worth your time to create fanart based on any of my stories, I would be incredibly honored ([and would love to enshrine it forever on my Tumblr](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/tagged/ineffablefool-gets-fanart-from-lovely-people))! I have only one requirement: please don't draw Aziraphale any thinner than the size I headcanon (I need both my soft cuddly daydreams, and my positive fat representation). Here are some examples of what that sort of minimum body size/shape might look like: ([beautiful fanart created for me by Squeegeelicious](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/post/189282541139/squeegeelicious-a-walk-to-the-ritz-for)) ([speremint 1](https://speremint.tumblr.com/post/186342035100/i-did-this-instead-of-my-hw-ya-girl-is-gonna)) ([speremint 2 from her Reversed Omens AU](https://speremint.tumblr.com/post/186574829700/finally-finally-done-making-these-refs-my)) ([dotstronaut](https://dotstronaut.tumblr.com/post/186740069618/no-really-i-dont-think-you-all-understand-how)) Otherwise, the characters can look however you like!
> 
> I hope you're having a fantastic day.


End file.
